Oct 15, 2014

pregnancy and infant loss remembrance day


October 15th is pregnancy and infant loss remembrance day. I have talked briefly about my miscarriage on here, and honestly that is about the extent I have talked about it at all.

A due date has come and gone, I made it through the first anniversary. Friends have announced pregnancies, delivered babies. Around me life goes on. For everyone else they have moved on, and why shouldn't they. How can anyone else associate any kind of emotional connect to something they have never seen, felt, touched. Only a few people in my life know about the miscarriage. The responses received when I did tell some one were mixed, hardly ever helpful and made me wish I had kept my mouth shut.

But for me, the grief is still there, gnawing away in the back of my mind.

Sometimes I feel silly for grieving so much. I experienced an "early pregnancy loss". Heck, even the doctor who saw me that day didn't even treat the embryo as a baby. There was talk about bleeding and cells and not much else. Thinking back, I get angry over how she treated me that day, how a little compassion would have gone a long way.

I think I grieve for the "what could have been's". For the child I would never know, for all the firsts I would never get to experience with another baby. I see Alexis playing with other children and I often think what an amazing sister she could be.

The past few weeks have been filled with doctor visits, and have ended with a diagnosis of PCOS. If you aren't familiar with PCOS, symptoms include miscarriage and infertility. It's been a rough week to take all that information in.

So I will just keep plugging away, doing what I can to make it through the day.

Please light a candle tonight at 7pm and say a prayer for all the babies gone to soon and the moms left with empty hearts and empty arms.

Oct 7, 2014

I finally got that do over!

Last year, I wrote this post.  It seems the last 12 months have been an exercise in patience.

Firstly. I got my new car! The same make and model of the one I had been wanting last year, only  this time around I got all the bells and whistles I could ever want or need. I went and purchased it by myself, took on a dealership by myself, although this time around I was more prepared for the experience. Alexis cried when we said goodbye to my old car, and honestly I was sad too, but it was time for a change. So here is my new car

But that wasn't the only thing that I had to be patient for. 
The house we got out bid on....came back up for rent.
We had already signed a lease to stay at our place another year. But I couldn't get the other house out of my head. We gave our notice to our current landlord and we are moving at the end of the month! I am excited, albeit dreading actually moving. Who knew you could accumulate so much crap in a house!! 

I'm a little impulsive by nature but maybe I need to slow my roll!
I'm excited for the next 12 months. 

Oct 3, 2014

5 on Friday


It’s back, it’s back!  Hooray for the return of Five on Friday after a summer hiatus!  

1} It's the little things
A new work out routine is kicking my butt! It involves lifting heavy stuff and pushing myself physically and most importantly, mentally to places I never imagined I could go.
Results after 5 weeks - not much movement on the scale but loss of inches from my hips!
Yessir - I am trying to let go of that number and focus on how my feels - harder than it sounds. 
I gained an inch on my arms - but that's all muscle!! 

2} Taking the stairs after leg day
Yesterdays work out involved a lot of squats! 
Today, walking = difficult
getting out of my chair = fuhgedaboutit
I'm pretty sure it would have been a lot worse had it not been for these aminos

3} Moving on
We gave notice that we are leaving our current place and moving into a new house!
I am sad to be leaving our little home, but I am so excited to be in the place! 
It is on 2 acres (unheard of in my area of Central Florida) and has amazing space. 
Let the packing commence. 

4} Iphone 6
I got the new iphone this week in gold!
It's a huge upgrade from my 4s and I love it!
I got this case for it, it matches perfectly!

5} Failing at Fall
It's still HOT HOT HOT here in CFL. Like 90% humidity, rain every day, hot.
I'm over it. I am looking forward to some cooler weather.
Also this post from last year still holds true! 

Apr 16, 2014

That time I thought the world was going to end....

I'm not usually one to buy into doomsday predictions, but when things get weird I get a panicky.
so when my co-workers husband text her to go outside and look at the sun because it looked strange, I high tailed it outside and did what every American would do....

Take a picture and post it on Social Media

Freaky, right?

Turns out this is a totally normal thing....and if it's on the internet it must be true!
According to my trusty  WIKIPEIDA LINK A halo is a phenomenon produced by ice crystals creating colored or white arcs and spots in the sky.

Cool! It's scientific, the world isn't about to end and we can all go back to regular programing. 
I really wish I had my camera with me today!!

Have you guys ever seen something like this?

Mar 31, 2014


Every Monday I post a motivational saying on my job's business Facebook page.
I take note of what is going on in our office and try to post something relevant to what is going on.

This week it applied to myself more than anyone else.

I have not been working out the past few weeks. Still eating mostly clean and I haven't gained any weight. But I haven't lost any either. I have had a rough few weeks healthwise. I have been waking up feeling completely exhausted (like I had not just had 8 hours of sleep), plus some other symptoms that point to thyroid issues. Luckily over the past 5 days I have been feeling a lot better, like a fog has been lifted.  It made me realize exactly how crappy I have been feeling. 

So after an awesome weekend I am ready to start over on my work outs.
I plan on cutting back the running and incorporating more weights. I would still love to run a half this year - if anything I am hoping for the Philadelphia Rock n Roll in September. Right now it's all about breaking through this damn plateau I have been stuck at FOR TO LONG and finally feel confident in a bikini this summer.  I have come a long way but I'm not done yet!

I work 45+ hours a week, have a family and a home to take care off. Sometimes it feels completely impossible to everything done. But it's about making time right?

So here is my plan:

Work out in the mornings before work.
This means sacrificing morning time with my daughter, however - it's staying light until 8:00pm.
There is more than enough time to do stuff when we are home. Last week we hit the park for an hour on the way home. Luckily I start work at 9:30am so I can drop her off at daycare for breakfast and head to the gym - which is one block from my work! I am planning on 4-5 days at the gym.

Run on the weekends.
The weekends I plan on running outdoors with the jogging stroller. My daughter has been asking to start going back out again on the weekends. Plus we can go the long way around and stop at a park on the way back!

Stay consistent with eating.
For the most part I have been on point with my meal prep, but there were few times I didn't do it and I ate badly (because when I'm buried in paperwork I need something now!). Again, I didn't gain weight - but I wasn't helping myself either. I need to plan my meals and snacks for work every week, plus dinner with my family. 

So there you have it.
What tips do you guys have for working out on a busy schedule?

Mar 24, 2014

Battle of Narcoosee Mills - Civil War Reenactment

I'm secretly a bit of a history nut. I actually like going to museums and historical places.
No shame in my game! Luckily my husband thinks the same way (my 3 year old doesn't have a choice - i'm hoping she will love too).

I have wanted to check out this re enactment for few years now and this year we were finally able to go!  It did not disappoint. The event was very well organized, there were plenty of seats and room for people to view the battle without over crowding. We went on the second day, which may be why it was a little quieter but we enjoyed it.

There were booths set up with vendors from all over selling period toys and games, clothing, accessories and food. We got a copy of the Constitution and some replica confederate money.
Overall it was a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon!

My favorite picture from the day

Have you guys ever been to a civil war reenactment?
What did you think?